Energy Vampires: How To Deal With Negative People Who Suck Your Vital Energy
Did you know that your success and happiness can be strongly affected by people around you? Unfortunately this is true. People who are around you, including parents and other family members like siblings and in laws, and also friends, classmates, colleagues, competitors… can be very important in your life. This is good on one hand, because many of these people can help and support you a lot. But they can also take you down and ruin your life and future. There are usually some negative people who are also known as energy vampires around anybody. They can have negative and horrible roles in your life. They can easily ruin your life. But the good news is they can do it only when you allow them to.
Why Did I Decide To Write This Article?
The first reason is that like anybody in this world I have been suffering from energy vampires’ negative behaviors in different stages of my personal and business lives. The good thing with me is that I learned in the early stages of my life that I had to welcome the supportive and positive people and ignore the negative ones. This is what most people never learn, or they learn it when it is too late and they have already missed so many opportunities because of the energy they allowed the energy vampires to suck. Therefore, I decided to write a post and awaken those who still don’t know what to do against these creatures.
There are so many things that I like to write about and hopefully I will, but sometimes something happens that pushes me to write about a topic sooner than the others. Same thing happened to make me write about energy vampires sooner.
I was reading about some celebrities that one of them attracted my attention more. The article was about an actress, Greta Garbo, who retired when she was only 36 and while she could still be one of the top ones for several more years. The reason she decided to retire was just a “negative review” that she took to heart.
After reading about her, I decided to write an article on this topic as soon as possible, not to let you close the success doors on yourself just because some sick and jealous people cannot see you climbing the success ladder. They usually don’t kick you down physically, but through their negative words they can make you stop climbing or even jump off, even when you have only a few steps to achieve your dreams. You are always at the risk of being affected by these people and I am sure many of you have already got hurt by them a lot. I hope this post doesn’t reach you when it is too late. Of course, any moment is the right time to start from the scratch and recover what you have lost.
First, Know Yourself Properly
Negative people can hurt us only when we underestimate ourselves. I am sure that most of you still don’t know how unique, outstanding, valuable, energetic, strong, amazing, creative and talented you are. Most of us have learned to see our weaknesses only. Maybe you are not good in math or literature and you have not been able to finish the school or go to college and university. Maybe you don’t look as good and handsome as the Hollywood celebrities, or you have got bankrupt a couple of times. Maybe you are not a good writer and you have problems even in writing a short email, or you are not articulate and cannot express what you have in your mind properly. Maybe you are not handy and you cannot even cut the backyard grass on your own…
Many of these can be true about you, but what you cannot do or you are not good at, is not all of you. You are beyond these things. The things you cannot do are not important enough that you want to think about them even for a second. There are too many things that you can do, or you are potentially able to do. Your mind is even bigger than everything we have in universe, and just you alone is more valuable than all the stars and planets.
Do you know why? Because you are a human and your abilities and capacities are literally “unlimited”, no matter if there are a few things that you cannot do properly for now.
So you are big and glorious, even if you have no money in your pocket, or you have filed bankruptcy for a few times so far. These are not just some positive words to make you happy. It is reality, because it is proven that those who underestimated themselves and found themselves broke, have been able to do great things and make the impossible possible when they decided to, and when they forgot about their weaknesses and focused on their powers. I can give you too many examples.
If you know yourself, then no negative word can affect you. If someone says “you cannot be a good actor, because you have accent”, you simply ignore him because you know that there are so many who had accent and became great actors at the same time. On the other hand, when you are serious to become a good actor, your accent cannot stop you and cannot be known as an obstacle. This is what you have to know and believe. You have to learn to focus on your goals and jobs, and ignore the other things.
This is what Greta Garbo was not able to do, because although she had been doing great and she had so many fans, some rave reviews made her leave her job too early. She considered some negative words by a few negative people, but didn’t consider thousands or even millions of her fans, and so many great things she had achieved. This is insane.
She didn’t have any problems really. Her only problem was that she didn’t know enough about herself and she didn’t believe in her abilities and achievements.
Unlike Greta Garbo, Arnold Schwarzenegger was strong and smart enough to defeat all his opponents and achieve the things that most people cannot even imagine. He was used to hear the negative words, maybe even thousands of times more than Greta Garbo, because Arnold started getting out of the crowd when there was a lot more competition compared to the time that Greta Garbo was working in Hollywood.
Greta Garbo was Swedish but many of her films were silent which means nobody heard her voice, and so, her accent was not a problem. Some reviewers started nagging about her accent only when she started playing in talkie films.
Like Greta Garbo, Arnold Schwarzenegger also had the accent problem because he is Austrian, but unlike Greta Garbo, he had this problem from the first time he wanted to play a role in a film. In spite of this, he paid no attention to it at all.
These are the negative things Arnold has been used to hear from energy vampires:
- You are nothing but just a mass of muscles.
- You have a terrible accent.
- You have a strange and ridiculous last name.
- A stranger with so many problems cannot have a place anywhere in USA’s cinema, business or government.
These problems could not stop him from becoming a great actor, nor from becoming a governor which is something that even most Americans cannot achieve. The reason is that his #1 rule of success is “Trust Yourself” according to himself.
The difference of Greta Garbo and Arnold Schwarzenegger was that the first person took the reviews and negative points to her heart most probably because she didn’t trust herself and thought that the reviewers could be right, but the second person paid no attention to them, because he trusted himself, and so, problems like accent looked negligible to him.
No problem is big enough to stop us.
A problem can stop you only when you see it big and you believe it as a problem and deficiency in yourself. We are the ones who make our problems big. They are not big in reality. No problem is big enough to stop you, because you are much greater than what you can even imagine, no matter who you are, where you live, what you do, and how much money or education you have. You can be great and do great things as soon as you want to.
So, if you believe in yourself and your values and you trust yourself as Arnold says, energy vampires cannot suck your energy and take you down. You simply laugh at what they say and you keep on advancing. You know that most of the things they say are not true, and some of the things that can be true are not important at all. So there is no point to listen to them and take their words to your heart.
When you trust yourself and know your values, you don’t spend even one second to follow what negative people and energy vampires say, because you know that they are literally sick and there are so many important things missing in their lives, and that is why they talk negative. So it doesn’t make sense for you to follow what these people say, because you do know that what they say comes from an inner problem.
Someone who has a dangerous virus can transmit it to you. You cannot get the virus from a healthy person. Therefore, as a healthy person who wants to stay away from that disease, you have to stay away from someone who has the virus, or at least be careful when you have to be in touch with him somehow. Similarly, to stay away from negative words, you have to stay away from those who say them.
You are healthy and you have to keep your health. Energy vampires are sick and you have to stay away from them and not follow what they say. If there is someone like that at the same place you live, be it your parents, siblings, or your spouse, and you have no option but living with him/her at least for now, just be nice and kind to him/her but don’t pay any attentions to his/her negative words and behaviors. I know it is not easy sometimes, but you can do it if you want. You can laugh at him/her in your mind and have fun.
Who Are Energy Vampires And Why They Are Like That?
They are humans like you and me, but unfortunately they have problems. Like someone who has an infectious disease caused by a dangerous germ, energy vampires have something harmful inside which has affected them badly. They are hurt for some reason and have not been able to handle and fix it. They need help definitely but unfortunately in most cases they don’t receive it from the others, nor they think about helping themselves.
Someone who is full of positive energy cannot hide it from others. He talks and acts positive. He supports the others and gives positive energy to anybody he meets or talks to. But someone who has lost his energy, has nothing positive to give the others. There is something missing inside him that he tries to have it back, but he doesn’t know the right way to do it. He does it through hurting the others and sucking their positive energy mainly by saying negative words:
- You can’t do anything right.
- You are ugly.
- You don’t look good.
- You are not smart and qualified enough to do it.
- You are stupid and weak.
- You can’t get anywhere.
- You can’t achieve your dreams.
- There are so many who are much better than you
- I hate you…
Hearing the above words and sentences makes you lose your energy, enthusiasm and creativity. In most cases, people take them to heart, like what Greta Garbo did. These negative words are even more harmful and fatal when heard from close relatives like parents and siblings. Unfortunately so many close relatives does this to their loved ones. They are hurt and they hurt the others while they have no idea. You can easily leave the school or quit the job you love because of hearing negative words from people. This is the worst thing you can do to yourself.
How To Deal With Energy Vampires
Don’t ever try to change an energy vampire, because you cannot and chances are he hurts you while you try to help him. Just forgive and forget. Keep the distance if possible. If not, don’t take their words to heart. Smile as if you are listening to a joke. You are what you are. Negative words cannot change the reality. You are the one who can hurt yourself by listening to negative words and taking them to your heart.
It is possible that thousands of people talk against you, while you are not aware. So you do your things normally and happily. But you get hurt as soon as you hear even what only one of them says against you. Still nothing is changed in you. You just heard some negative words that were used to be said against you in the past too, but the difference is you didn’t know it before, but you know it now. You are the same person indeed. There was nothing wrong with you neither in the past, nor now. The problem is you have got some negative words to your heart. The negative words that you knew nothing about them before.
But, instead of taking the negative words to your heart, you could choose another option. You could ignore them instantly as if you had never heard them, and live the way you were used to. But you choose the other option which is taking the negative words serious. So, indeed you are the one who is hurting yourself. You are injecting the poison into your body. Everything is under your control. You are the one who can choose the good or the bad option.
You cannot shut peoples’ mouths, nor you can prevent their negative actions and behaviors. You have no control on them. But you have full control on yourself. You can spend your life listening and following what your enemies say against you, and then get hurt and feel broke. But there is another option which is much easier to follow: You don’t give them a damn as if they don’t exist at all.
The better and more successful you get, the more enemies you will have. This is normal. You will be stopped at the middle of the way of success and prosperity as soon as you spend your time following what your enemies say against you. You can be more successful every day if you keep on focusing on your life and job and enjoying your moments.
So everything is under your control.
What Will Happen To Energy Vampires Finally?
They get worse every day. As they spend their time and energy on negativity, they cannot do something positive and important for themselves, and so their lives will not be good. They try to heal their wounds via wounding the others, but they get worse the more they do it. In most cases they don’t do it because they have something against you. You should not take it personal. You or someone else doesn’t make any difference for them. They just want to hurt to soothe their own pains. You should forgive and forget, and be focused on what you like and enjoy. You are too great to get hurt by a bunch of negative words. You get hurt only when you want to.
Some energy vampires make money through spreading negativity against the others. This has become so common over the Internet. It is very easy to gather some gadflies on a website via publishing gossips and bad things about the others who are doing good (like celebrities). Whereas it takes more time and energy to create a community of healthy and positive people. The reason is that the smell of the crap that the energy vampires publish on their websites can easily attract gadflies who enjoy the negative words they read on energy vampire websites, because their soul can only be fed by negativity. They start following those websites as soon as they find them, because they need those websites to empty their inner pressure by reading and saying negative words against the others. This makes traffic and money for the energy vampires’ websites. This is what they want and is the easiest way for such incompetent people to make money over the Internet. They get more encouraged to focus on negativity when they see that their negative posts and pages receive a lot of attentions and comments from people like themselves, but nobody gives a damn to their other posts and articles. So they prefer to stay focused on negativity.
But, you have to work too hard to attract the trust of the healthy and positive people. They don’t spend their valuable time on any website they stumble upon. They have to see value and truth in your words to trust you. They have to see your expertise and professionalism to subscribe for your newsletter. They leave your site and will never be back as soon as they see no value in your words and feel that you are wasting their time for negativity and false things.
It is too hard to create a community of healthy and competent people, but such a community is priceless, and it becomes more valuable as the time goes by. Although, one can make money faster and easier if he focuses on negativity and gossip against others, he is a losers in long term, because he can never go beyond a certain level. All he will have is a herd of sick, jealous, depressed, broke, failed, torpid and useless people gathered around his website. He goes lower every day while he is accompanied by his followers who are all like himself.
The same remedy works against the Internet energy vampires too: Forgive and Forget!
Chances are you become famous somehow and you attract the attention of the Internet energy vampires and they publish negative words against you. First of all, you should never spend even one second to read what they say. Your time is too valuable to be spent on this. However, if you accidentally got faced with their sites, you just ignore and leave immediately while you hold nothing in your mind and heart. You must really forgive and forget otherwise you hurt yourself.
In case some of these people leave negative comments or posts on your website or your FaceBook page, you just (1) delete, (2) forgive and (3) forget. You have to keep your site and pages clean for healthy people. You cannot let infected people get in and transmit the germs to others.
It is up to you which option to choose. You can be like Arnold Schwarzenegger, pay no attention to negativity and climb the ladder of success, or like Greta Garbo who allowed sick people to hurt her. What others say about you doesn’t change anything. You are what you are, and you can change only when you want.
- Your Haters Are Your Success Indicators
- Where Is the Peace of Mind We Always Look For?
- Your Daily Horoscope
Good luck 🙂