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Questions and StoriesCategory: StoriesWhat Do I Do With My Ex?
Leno Jean Pierre asked 2 months ago

What Do I Do With My Ex?

I was in relationship with a girl for 7 years when I was at school, we really loved each other and we had a child, but she Broke up with me because I couldn’t afford things for her and my mother don’t appreciate our relationship. Now my situation has changed a little bit and I have found another girl that love me a lot, we decided to get married next year. When my ex heard that new she begun to call me and want to come back; She has been calling me every day, honestly I still love her but now I’m in another relationship and when I remember what she did to me years ago, I discourage myself. What should I do to get out of this situation?

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20 Answers
Vahid Chaychi Staff answered 2 months ago

1. How long do you know the second girl.
2. Please give more details about the reasons of your breakout with the first girl. What did she do to you exactly?
3. Who is taking care of your child now?
4. Why didn’t your mom like your first relationship? What were her reasons?
5. How old are you three are?
6. How old is your child now?
7. Do you also like the second girl? What are the good things in her? What are the dig differences she has with the first one?
Nobody can help you if you don’t give enough information…

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Leno Jean Pierre answered 2 months ago

First thank you Mr Vahid for your suggestion, here in some words the details you asked me.
1 )The second girl I’m dating now, we know each other since the childhood i mean i was about 12 years, she is my first love in my life.
2) the reason that i know is that my mom didn’t appreciate our relationship and that made her unconfortable staying with me and my family, then the year she gave birth of my child, i got my exam to go to the University, so i left her in my family but we the bad communication with my mom and sister she decided to leave our family, she went in a city and rent a house alone, when i came in holiday, i realized that she was already in relationships in secret with another man .she never told me the truth about that relationship,the only thing she was insisting is to send Cola to her family as it is a culture in our country. I told my family to do their duties, and they did so. After everything, she told me that she was never interested in our relationship, i did everything ,i beg her i that moment, she refused. I felt in deception, because u really Loved her, After a while, i decided to no longer get Married in my life. I spent 3 years without any relationship with a girl, and was living alone.
In 2018 i met my first love, while i was in Russia, we had communicated and we decided to get married.
3 since we break up she is taking care of our child, but whatever she asked for my child, i did.
4)honestly only my mom can answer this question, i had asked him, but never got an answer, everything was good at the beginning, but since i told her that i wanted to marry that girl, she completely changed her behavior.
5)i’m 31 and she is 30 years .
6) she was born in October 2009,she is 12 years old now.
7)this second I’m about to marry was my first girlfriend and my first love, i love her a lot. I left her when i moved to the city for studies.now we met and we are still in love. She is also appreciate by all the family members including my mom and sisters, she is in deep love in me. Although we are not together right now, she decided to wait me as i going back in one year time.

Vahid Chaychi Staff replied 2 months ago

You’re welcome. I will be more than happy to help.
1. The fact that you know each other since you were a child doesn’t mean that you match. Besides, I think you haven’t been in touch for years, and people change over time. So she is not the same girl you saw when you were 12. You are not the same person too.
2. It was a big mistake to have your wife or girl friend in the same place with your family and mom. Even if you mom was happy with this relationship, they would get into trouble if they lived with each other.
Also, are you 100% sure that she had affairs with other men when she left your family’s place???
Are you 100% sure or you just guess???
Do you have proofs???
3. Good…
4. I still don’t know. But as I said, it was a mistake to have her where your mom and family lives. Also, moms usually feel jealous when theirs sons finds a girl because they think their son belongs to them, and no girl is allowed to take their son. This becomes worse when they have a bad relationship with their husband. How is your mom’s relationship with your dad? What your dad and other family members say about the mother of your child???
I don’t know yet, but I think your mom is guilty in this case. But I will tell you if you give me more information.
5. OK
6. OK.
7. Your first girlfriend when you were 12???
If yes, then this means nothing because as I said people change over time. You are 31 now. You are both different persons.
Has she been in other relationships over these years? Does she have any kids?
Since 2018 that you have met her again, have you been with each other nonstop??? Have you lived with each other? How often you have met and how much time have you spent with each other?

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Kenneth Ogbonnaya answered 2 months ago

I had a girlfriend, but, she came from a family my own family dispised, but we loved each other very well but we always have problems when she raises issue of marriage , finally she is married and am married as well. We have nothing in common now.

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Shane Collins answered 2 months ago

I am relationship expert but I advise you to search your heart and figure out how you really feel about both these women and if you can see a future with the other women or not.
There is also another reason why a persons ex is called their ex normally these relationships don’t work out a second time as these events what ever they may be are likely to repeat once more.
Also another thing the time spent with your ex has expired and I am sure many more life experiences and lessens has come out of the experience and it as the relationship comes to an end it is simply time for your ex to exit your life and the both have to move forward from there.
Ultimately it sounds like you have a lot of thinking and figuring out to do best of luck.   
 

Vahid Chaychi Staff replied 2 months ago

I like your advice and thoughts Shane…

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Gareth White answered 2 months ago

Leno this is certainly not an easy decision for you to take. My personal advice would be not to rush in with marriage. Wait until you are living near each other and maybe move in together to test you are truly compatible before you get married.

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Kenneth Ogbonnaya answered 2 months ago

My ex is married and am married as well, we don’t have any thing to do with each other.

Vahid Chaychi Staff replied 2 months ago

Good…
No friendship after relationship…

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Leno Jean Pierre answered 2 months ago

Thanks to all for your answers and advise, i will Put them into practice.they will certainly help me to make a good decision.
Mr Vahid thank you too. I’m sure,everthing is clear, she has got a son with him but she left him for a reason that i don’t know.
Of course i know that my mom had lot of responsibilities in this situation, but i couldn’t do anything because she is my mom. One of my sisters has also her responsibility, she is my younger sister just after me.
Yes she is my first girlfriend i met at the age of 12 ,i know that she is not the same person, and i that moment its wasn’t the real love, no one knows what love is at that moment. We have not been together, she is in Guinea and I’m in Morocco at the moment I’m writing this answer, we met on facebook and since that day we are in contact on phone every day.

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Kenneth Ogbonnaya answered 2 months ago

My ex is married now and am married too, so we don’t have any thing in common again, we doesn’t talk on phone neither visit each other, we can only say hello if we meet on the way. We have moved on our separate ways s already.

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Kenneth Ogbonnaya answered 2 months ago

My ex are still single but am married but we still chat, talk on phone to ask after each other.

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Gareth White answered 2 months ago

You can only do what feels right Leno – Im sure it will come good in the end.

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Leno Jean Pierre answered 2 months ago

Yes, I’m still thinking what to do, to no fall in the fake. However your answers has given me lot of ideas that can help me to make a good decision.

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Kenneth Ogbonnaya answered 2 months ago

My ex has a family now and I have my own family.,i do think we have nothing to share again.

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Ahmad Khasan answered 2 months ago

It is good to consider and think about the best decision, Leno. From what I have learned when it comes about my relationship, deciding during a period like yours should not be in hesitation. It is best to be objective and not let your feelings affect your decision.

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Eli Davis Keinamura answered 2 months ago

You leave her or him completely.And start a new life.I also had one and  we separated,when she got a big  job in government prison ,she started miss behaving, putting up conditions which were difficult.

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Gareth White answered 2 months ago

Might be a case of drawing a line in the sand and moving on.

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Leno Jean Pierre answered 2 months ago

Thanks you all for your advices.i really appreciate your support and guidance.

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Kenneth Ogbonnaya answered 2 months ago

My ex is happily married and am happily married too, so best I will do with her is to allow her to concentrate on her marriage.

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adharad answered 1 month ago

Forget him, look for a woman who is much better than him for mistreating you.
I believe, you can find a woman who is good for you ^^

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Leno Jean Pierre answered 1 month ago

Thank you very very, Mr Adhara, i have already forget about this relationship, but we can’t stay without being in touch for a while because of our child.i can forget about her not my child.
The only thing that reminds between her and I is our child support .

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Kenneth Ogbonnaya answered 1 month ago

Thank God the question said my Ex. She is already ex, therefore, my ex she remains.

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